This is a spontaneously written cross-over scenario between characters Piers Nivans (Resident evil 6) and male Shepard (Mass Effect). The two meet in heaven and discuss about their respective demise. Warning, some gayness ensues. Best if you’ve seen this popular ME3 parody, and if you know some RE6 melee terms: Gamer Poop - Mass Effect #1
Shepard: Damn those stingy Bioware and EA bastards! How could they cut out on my insurance just because “Oh dev and production ended up costing too much”!
Piers: At least you lasted three full games…
Shepard: Damn truth. But I died once before.
Piers: And they brought you back. If only Capcom would do that for me.
Shepard: OK I gotta admit I’m grateful for that. At least I lasted 80 more gaming hours.
Piers: How'd you die?
Shepard: Saving a friend.
Piers raises and eyebrow: Oh? Is it someone special...?
Shepard: Joker? LULz! Nah. he's a great guy, I love him, we all do, but not that way. No.
Piers: Oh. Wow. That's ... really noble of you.
Shepard: Yea? What ‘bout you?
Piers: Oh uh.. *scratches head sheepishly* Well... something similar I guess
Shepard raises an eyebrow and grins: Oooohhh? Someone speshul…??
Piers: I guess u can say that.... *ignores his own blush*
Shepard: Sweet. Did you guys bang before your mission?
Piers: WUT??? @//@
Shepard: You know, bang? *rocks his hips as demonstration*
Piers: I know "bang" but no! Jesus, why'd you ask that?
Shepard gasps: You mean you DON’T bang before EVERY suicidal mission..!??!?
Shepard is in shock: Wow... that's some epic loss.
Piers: Look, he doesn't know, alright?
Shepard spits batarian shard wine out of his nose: You died never telling him how you feel!???
Piers: He doesn't need to know. Heck, he could barely remember about himself. It’ll only make things worse and harder for us at the end if he knows.
Touched, Shepard covers his mouth wearing a look like he’s gonna cry: Damn hero....
Shepard: You deserve so much more, you know that?
Piers: Well I.... *looks sad, head hanging low*
Shepard puts an arm around him: Hey... it's alright.... we'll bang ok?
*SHORYUKEN DE GRACE*
- Current Mood: nerdy
Please note that the story was written spontaneously while chatting online with a friend, so please pardon the chat format. I wrote all of the story, though, so you can always skip my friend's replies/lines if you must, except for the first 6 lines that triggered the whole story. Thanks.
Cat Wesker: If Vergil had the deathnote, he'd kill every human on earth.
Katana: Even dante?
Cat Wesker: Dante is half demon . if he kills him he might as well kill himself.
Katana: The Shinigami would be like Dude...you gotta slow down...we're running out of paper
Katana: Besides, the Death Note automatically refills its pages...so he can't run out
Cat Wesker: hahahaha
Cat Wesker: Vergil would write in the smallest text ever
Cat Wesker: ahahaha serious? XD
Katana: LOL jeez
Katana: But....if everyone is dead...then what will he do then
Cat Wesker: he didn't think that far.
Katana: I think while Dante is having sex with a girl the girl dies...and Dante is like...WOAH I’m so fucking good
Cat Wesker: ahahahahaha
Cat Wesker: Dante barges into Vergil's room nekkid: hey bro, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED??? i just fucked a girl to death!!! OMG?!
Katana: Vergil: O_O OMG DANTE! *covers eyes*
Cat Wesker: Dante looks down at his own manhood: Ah shit... i fucked her but I’m not done yet.... *stares at Vergil* .... u are now responsible for this, bro.
Katana: Ur crazy CaT
Katana: But this would sound like a great plot for a gay porn film
Katana: starring the both of them---Hey wait...i got it. They can be twin porn stars
Cat Wesker: of cos. i , master of yaoi, always comes up with the best plots
Katana: so....what happens then? *eats popcorn*
Cat Wesker: Vergil: i didn't do nothing.
Cat Wesker: Dante: ooooh i know what u do with that wicked little notebook of yours. I’m not your twin for nothing
Katana: TWIN POWERZ
Cat Wesker: XD telepathy?
Cat Wesker: Vergil: then what makes u think i won’t write your name down now?
Katana: So he also must know that Vergil has sex dreams of hiim
Cat Wesker: Dante: because you love me, and i can jump you faster than u can write my name.
Katana: *cues the porn music...boom chika wow wow*
Cat Wesker: mwahahhaa
Cat Wesker: Sparda in the heavens thinks: it begins....
Katana: Ok...what happens then? *its getting good*
Cat Wesker: Dante: how bout we make a deal?
Cat Wesker: Vergil: what's in it for me?
Cat Wesker: Dante: if you can write my name before i jump you, i'll move out of this place and never bother u again. but if i jump u before u can do it, you gotta have sex with me every night for the next 365 days.
Katana: Wow...that's extremely hardcore
Cat Wesker: almost immediately, Vergil: I’m in.
Cat Wesker: and then he jumps out of the window in front of him
Katana: Vergil's a whore
Cat Wesker: and landed outside the apartment on ground floor (they stay on the 4th floor or something)
Katana: Clever as a fox Vergil is
Cat Wesker: Dante: no no yer not getting away.
Cat Wesker: he picks up Vergil's teddy bear, infuses it with some devil trigger and throws it at Vergil's who's frantically writing "D" on the notebook right after getting up on his feet
Cat Wesker: It hits his head and the pen he's holding flies off and gets run over by a car.
Katana: Didn't know Dante could transfer his power
Cat Wesker: Vergil: Grrr!! dammit!
Katana: Remember...that Raito uses blood sumtimes to write names
Cat Wesker: Dante jumps out of the window and tries to run after Vergil
Cat Wesker: yeah but he has to cut himself with something first -_-
Katana: or his spikey hair LOL
Cat Wesker: Dante was on his tail, so he had to run first
Katana: Dante's outside naked running after his twin brother....people must think he's high on crack or sumthing
Cat Wesker: hahaha
Cat Wesker: hHAHAHHAHAHAA
Cat Wesker: OH YA HE'S NEKKID HAHAHAHAHA
Katana: U forgot that huh
Cat Wesker: nvm it makes it more hilarious
Katana: When does Vergil get naked already
Cat Wesker: and so Vergil runs off while thinking of where he can get another pen. He didn't think of cutting himself and using his blood cos it's hard to think fast when Dante's barely a few feet away
Cat Wesker: Dante tries to do a soccer slide on him but Vergil jumps in time, except the book slips out of his hand
Katana: Yeah...with Dante's cock bouncing up and down....Vergil must be traumatized
Cat Wesker: ahahhahHAHAHAHA YAAA
Cat Wesker: Dante: aha! *jumps after the book and catches it*
Cat Wesker: Dante: you los--
Cat Wesker: then he tasted a bench slamming against his face
Cat Wesker: Vergil: MINE! *runs after the book that flies out of Dante's hands*
Cat Wesker: Dante falls face flat onto the ground, little chirping birds flying around his head and his ass publicly spread to the public
Cat Wesker: 2 seconds later he hears the police behind him.
Cat Wesker: waking up immediately, he sees Vergil sprinting off to a nearby bookstore
Cat Wesker: he gets up immediately and proceeds to chase after him, stealing a kid's skateboard along the way
Cat Wesker: Vergil enters the bookstore and immediately grabs a pen on the cashier's table and starts writing
Katana: What is the Shinigami doing while this is happening?
Cat Wesker: Dante catches up fast and is preparing to jump onto Vergil after crashing thru the glass door when Vergil air tricks away to a corner,
Cat Wesker: and Dante crashes against the bookshelves.
Katana: Ok....a bloodied up naked Dante is no longer sexy but crazy looking...not he definitely looks like a crack addict
Cat Wesker: Vergil hastily tries to finish the last alphabet "E" when Dante activates quiksilver
Cat Wesker: he runs and leaps on Vergil just as Vergil finishes writing "e" and then quiksilver deactivates
Cat Wesker: Dante: GOTCHA!
Cat Wesker: both of them slide and hit the wall
Cat Wesker: Dante: mwahahahahaha!!! you LOSE!
Cat Wesker: Vergil turns the book around and shows Dante the page with his name: no YOU lose.
Cat Wesker: Dante: oh fuck no way, another draw??
Katana: ASTRAL FINISH
Cat Wesker: Vergil: now get your throbbing cock off me.
Cat Wesker: but then they hear sirens and stuff nearby: put your hands up in the air!
Katana: Can't believe Dante still has a hard on
Cat Wesker: Dante looks up to see a strong light shining at them, it's the police. there're bout 5 police cars and 20 or so cops with their guns ready
Cat Wesker: Vergil & Dante: Auw shit...
Cat Wesker: "you are under arrest for a shitload of insane and perverted acts!" is what they last heard before they were taken to the police station
Cat Wesker: Dante while handcuffed: it's all your fault.
Cat Wesker: Vergil: pfft.
Cat Wesker: Dante: if you'd just let me fuck u we wouldn't have to end up like this.
Cat Wesker: Vergil: speaking of which you're supposed to die. i wrote your bloody name in the book. Why didn't u die?? <I couldn't care less if u move out, we know you'd move back in 2 hours.>
Katana: They'll probably tazer Dante cause he's acting like a complete lunatic
Cat Wesker: (hahahaha i know eeeh hahaha)
Cat Wesker: Dante: mwahahha, it's a secret.
Katana: He did a Near move didn't he
Cat Wesker: so when they're finally released, which is like a week later cos Lady was almost too lazy to bail them out,
Katana: Why would she bail Vergil out
Cat Wesker: Vergil got his lawyer friends to find out if Dante had changed his name
Cat Wesker: and he found out he did. He was planning to immediately write it down before Dante gets the chance to jump him again but he didn't have the heart to this time.
Cat Wesker: Dante: Wanna know my new name?
Cat Wesker: lady: not really.
Cat Wesker: Dante: Dante Loves Vergil.
Cat Wesker: lady siiigggghsssssssss: Whatever.
Cat Wesker: -- the end --
Katana: Imagine if he goes to get a Driver's License....Name please...Dante Love Vergil
-- The End --
- Current Mood: lazy
- Current Music:black eyed peas - where is the love
Please note that the story was written spontaneously while chatting online with a friend, so please pardon the chat format. I wrote all of the story, though, so you can always skip my friend's replies/lines if you must. Thanks.
Cat Wesker: Sparda was 15 that year and playing with his yoyo while watching his favorite Korean drama on TV when he heard the announcement from the lord Mundus himself that he planned to attack and rule the human world in a week's time, because he suddenly felt like it.
Cat Wesker: Sparda was shocked, and afraid. <What'd happen to my drama?!?! It’s not over yet!!! Noooooo!!! My Lee Byung Hun!!!! I have to see the finale!!!> [FYI, Lee Byung Hun is my current love thanks to the movie GI JOE, so watch it if you haven't! =D]
Cat Wesker: Though he was 15 years old, he was very mature and knew how to keep a formal front.
Cat Wesker: He met up with Mundus that night and requested politely if Mundus could delay the attack to, say, 3 months later cause he really wanted to watch the finale for his drama.
Katana: Wow..this is far out on so many levels
Cat Wesker: Mundus was disgusted. He couldn't believe one of his high generals would ask him of such a fucking gay favor.
Katana: This is fantastic
Cat Wesker: thank u
Katana: Kobayashi couldn't think of stuff like this if he tried
Cat Wesker: yeah.
Katana: Devil May Cry 5: The Hunt for the Mysterious Yo-Yo
Cat Wesker: So anyway, Sparda pleaded with Mundus, telling him the series was really important to him and he had planned to go to the human world for one of Lee Byung Hun's hand-shake fan conference or something and he didn’t want them to die... just yet anyway
Cat Wesker: Mundus felt ridiculed, he was not happy that his underling had the guts to tell him what to do, so he was like "Huh! If you're so desperate, I will bring forward the attack 3 days! Wahahahaa! say good bye to your ugly gay Lee Byung Hun."
Cat Wesker: oh MY G.O.D.
Cat Wesker: Sparda snapped.
Cat Wesker: He couldn't accept the insult.
Cat Wesker: He got sooooo enraged that even his DT changed form.
Cat Wesker: It looked more adult than the 15 year old demon he should be.
Cat Wesker: Mundus called upon his other generals and warriors to fight this traitor and so Sparda fought with all his might.
Cat Wesker: His passion for Lee Byung Hun and the series was his victory factor
Cat Wesker: and then he sealed the gateway between the two worlds to make sure Mundus and his assholes couldn't get his hands on the human world.
Cat Wesker: so after he sealed the gateway, he ended up having to stay in the human word. When he turned from DT to human form he realized hey he didn’t look 15 anymore. Maybe the anger changed him.
Cat Wesker: He didn't quite know where he was too cause he was like... well he didn't study earth geography and shit
Cat Wesker: but he wanted to go to Korea wherever that was for obvious reasons
Cat Wesker: so he was like randomly asking people on the streets "How can I get to Korea please? I’d like to meet with Lee Byung Hun."
Cat Wesker: After asking a million people, a lady he didn't ask heard him mention the dude's name and perked "Did u say Lee Byung Hun?"
Cat Wesker: Sparda's eyes sparked with stars and hope, "Yesss!!! You his fan too!??!"
Cat Wesker: Eva: ^_^ I used to work in Korea for 3 years as an English teacher. He was my neighbor.
Katana: Jeez, CaT you're really getting into this
Cat Wesker: hahahahaaaa!!! what do u expect? i am god!
Cat Wesker: So Sparda made his first friend in the human world and they both geek’ed about the man
Cat Wesker: and before they knew it, they fell in love with each other.
Cat Wesker: and so they had twins and both were very happy about their family.
Cat Wesker: they got settled and all, happy, peaceful, everything they could ever ask for. Well we'll skip the part where Eva was almost traumatized to find out she's having sex with a demon during climax cause Sparda couldn’t help devil triggering.
Cat Wesker: but 4 years later or so Sparda started feeling a little depressed.
Cat Wesker: Eva could see that in him and knew what he was missing, so she told him "Go, go ahead and fly to Korea. Go have fun and we'll wait for u to return."
Cat Wesker: Sparda was so touched Eva knew what he was thinking.
Katana: how touching
Cat Wesker: Mind you he was living a very happy and contented life, but he felt like he was missing something in his life cause he's never had the chance to meet Lee Byung Hun in person and ask for a handshake and autograph just as he had dreamt of when he was younger back in hell.
Katana: Jeez, Korean programming goes even to Hell
Cat Wesker: hahahahaa!!! hell has their own cable TV
Katana: I wonder what there sex channel is called....anyway, continue
Cat Wesker: Sparda wanted to bring the whole family but he knew he couldn't afford all four of them cause he didn't earn much cause I mean c'mon he's not even from earth, what can he do as a career? So he promised he'll be back soon, along with a lot of fun stories to tell
Cat Wesker: So he left, with 4 year old Dante and Vergil and their mom waving goodbye to him at the airport.
Cat Wesker: But he never came back.
Katana: Vergil thinks "I can't believe Dad is doing this"
Cat Wesker: No one knew what happened. There was no news whatsoever, and Eva didn't know what happened, but she believed the promise that he would return.
Cat Wesker: But after 10 years Eva accepted the fact that he's no longer coming back
Cat Wesker: Maybe he met an accident, maybe he found someone else there, no one would know, but it was obvious she was hurting even though she put up a strong front, and Vergil wasn't happy about that.
Cat Wesker: Vergil couldn't believe dad betrayed them. He believed dad's prolly still hanging around in Korea kyaa'ing over some stupid slit eyed Asian freak.
Cat Wesker: He wanted to fly to Korea and kick dad's ass but they ain't got no money.
Cat Wesker: Dad kinda took most of the savings they had already. Bastard.
Cat Wesker: Dante tried to cool Vergil down telling him that if that's what dad wanted they should let him be cause dragging him back wouldn't help things.
Cat Wesker: But Vergil was pissed.
Cat Wesker: "Money... I need more money....!!"
Cat Wesker: And so Vergil worked his ass off from some unknown dude to some CEO of some great greatness.
Cat Wesker: Their office building was called the Temen Ni Gru >:3
Cat Wesker: So now he's got money and he told mom and Dante that they could all go to Korea now and kick dad's sorry butt.
Katana: Dante is thinking "i can't believe my brother is doing this"
Cat Wesker: hahahaha!!!
Cat Wesker: Eva didn't want to go because she had decided to let the past go.
Cat Wesker: And since mommy's not going Dante said he'd stay back with her so she's not alone.
Cat Wesker: So Vergil was like FINE, I’LL go.
Cat Wesker: So he went there.
Cat Wesker: Spent a lot of money trying to find the guy.
Cat Wesker: And after a few months he DID end up finding him.
Cat Wesker: In North Korea.
Cat Wesker: Vergil: ....The fawk?!
Cat Wesker: Sparda: T_____T!!! Son!!!! Save meeeee!!!
Cat Wesker: Vergil: What the fuck happened?! Why are you here!? Why are you dressed like a slave?! Why do you look retarded???!
Katana: Again with the echo huh. Definitely a Capcom character
Cat Wesker: Turned out, Sparda was touring Korea when he accidentally stepped past the North-South Korea border
Katana: OH SHIT!
Cat Wesker: and he was immediately sniped in the head, like 6 times.
Cat Wesker: but because he wouldn't die, I mean he can't anyway, not from gun shots,
Cat Wesker: he revived and the North Koreans were like OMFGWTFKOREANBBQ?!!
Cat Wesker: They took him in and imprisoned him, as well as experimented on his immortality.
Katana: Poor Sparda
Cat Wesker: So Vergil was like HOLY SHIT.... and got mad, but he couldn't help but whack his dad in the face before that for being so stupid as to pass the border like a dumbass.
Katana: I guess Dante definitely inherited the dumbass gene from him not Eva
Cat Wesker: hahahahha yes! hahahaha
Cat Wesker: And after that Vergil bribed North Korea with a lot of money and bailed his father out. Before they flew back home though, Sparda managed to meet with his idol (through Vergil's connections) and got a handshake, autograph and photo altogether. He was so happy he cried a river. :') Poor dude finally fulfilled his wish... Auw....
Cat Wesker: They returned back home soon after that (where is home btw? USA? London?)
Cat Wesker: and Eva burst in tears upon seeing Sparda
Katana: I don't know
Cat Wesker: while Dante burst in tears upon seeing Vergil XD
Cat Wesker: Dante: OMG!! You did it!!! You’re... You're...!! OMG!! VERGIL!!! I MISSED YOUUU!!!!
Cat Wesker: and so they lived happily ever after... until one day Dante announced to the family during dinner that he has found THE ONE in his life and proposed to Vergil on the spot.
Cat Wesker: Eva turned into stone while Sparda spurt soup out of his nose
Cat Wesker: but that's another DMC side story.
Cat Wesker: -- The end --
Katana: lol wow you really....wow...im lost for words
Cat Wesker: hahaha XD
Cat Wesker: hehehe man i'm pleaased with this story myself
Katana: I thought Hunnie would do a Bill Clinton move and try to tell the Dictator Kim Yung Ill to release Sparda
Cat Wesker: hunnie is just an actor...
Cat Wesker: and Sparda does not have any nationality...
Cat Wesker: he's not a citizen of any country >_>;
Katana: illegal alien
Cat Wesker: yes lol
Katana: I stll prefer your other story. with Vergil and the Death Note
Cat Wesker: man i swear i need to post this on my blog lol
Cat Wesker: hahahaha u like it cos of the image of dante running around the city nekkid with his hard on bouncing up and down
Katana: wats wrong with that?
Cat Wesker: no, it's perfect >:3
Katana: yep-- The End --
- Current Location:at work
- Current Mood: lazy
- Current Music:michael jackson - smooth criminal
Genre: Yaoi / Shounen-ai / Comedy
Japanese (original) version:
ルフィー：なぁ エース～ （顔をあげる）
ルフィー：あははは！まぁ～ そういうなよ～ やらせてよ～
Two Hours After Reuniting
English (translated) version:
(The characters' personality and nuance don't show as well as the Japanese version)
Ace: Baka, don't get too close. What'd happen if your crew sees us?
Luffy: I don't really care~ (Hugs him)
Ace: Stop it!
Luffy: Hey Ace. (Looks up at him)
Ace: ...What? (Anticipates)
Luffy: I wanna DO it right now~~
Ace: Wha--? The hell are you saying, pervert! (Face turns red)
Luffy: Caaause~! It's been 3 years! I can't hold it any longer~!
Ace: (Still red) If you want it that badly go do it yourself! (Struggles)
Luffy: No wai! I want to do YOU!
Ace: @_@! Don't say those things out loud!
Luffy: Why not? I mean it.
Ace: Ahh, I can't keep up with this! Just let go, you idiot of a brother!
Luffy: I dun wanna.
Ace: I mean think about it! Why am *I* always bottom?!
Luffy: Oh... Is that what this is about? You don't like being bottom, Ace?
Ace: Of course NOT!
Luffy: Ahahaha! I see I see! So that's it right?
Ace: What are you laughing about?
Luffy: Well, if that's the case...
Ace: ......? (Awaiting an answer)
Luffy: Sorry. (Bows) I really only wanna be top.
Ace: That's just being selfish!
Luffy: Ahahaha! C'mon~ Don't say that~ Let me do you, please~?
Ace: That's it! You're a demon!
Luffy: Yup! I am a rubber demon! (His hands are already in Ace's pants... LOL)
Ace: I said STOP IT!!
Zoro: What's with the ruckus outside?
Sanji: Don't interrupt their romance, stupid.
Nami: Uh huh. It's been 3 years after all.
Zoro: Huh? What are you talking about?
Usopp: Uh... I have a feeling those who don't understand better not understand...
-- The End --
- Current Location:Office
- Current Mood: sleepy
- Current Music:Chemistry - Life Goes On ~Side D~
This one's ultra short, but I love it anyway. T__T It's so simple and angsty at the same time it makes my fangirl heart cry. And oh, sorry I've not scanlated for a while, I've been busy doing my own stuff... @_@
Series: Slam Dunk
Pairing: Mitsui x Miyagi
By: 宮本佳野 (Miyamoto Kano)
Scanlated by: Cat Wesker (me)
- Current Mood: peaceful
- Current Music:One Piece - We Are (Mugiwara version)
I dunno why but it seems that most of the good/passable stories in my Slam Dunk anthologies are mostly on these two. It's a coincidence, of course, but sometimes I wonder why that is =P Mind you, I like this pairing a lot (especially since I'm not too fond of Ruhana.) Anyway, enjoy.
50 Ways to Love
Series: Slam Dunk
Pairing: Mito x Sakuragi
By: 高野宮子 (Takano Miyako)
Scanlated by: Cat Wesker (me)
- Current Mood: excited
- Current Music:MGS3 - Snake Eater
This will be the first time I'm posting my scanlation on LJ before anyone else =P
Series: Slam Dunk
Pairing: Mito x Sakuragi
By: ぷにこ (Puniko)
Scanlated by: Cat Wesker (me)
- Current Mood: productive
It's been spread around on LJ by another friend before but since it's my scanlation I'm gonna post it on my own LJ as well:
A New Year Beginning With You
Series: Slam Dunk
Pairing: Sendoh x Rukawa
By: 中村なつこ (Nakamura Natsuko)
Scanlated by: Cat Wesker (me)
- Current Mood: pleased
- Current Music:Genki Rockets - Heavenly Star
I'm not regretting it though, cos' I know exactly how much I'm still obsessed with Slam Dunk and I have in fact been trying to look for such anthologies on my favorite site jpqueen.com (where I used to buy over 150 yaoi manga from). But for some reason that site hardly sells anymore yaoi anthologies like it used to, which is really disappointing. If only I had just bought more back then... >_<!!
And so! Once I get my hands on these babies I'll look through to see which chapters/stories are worth scanlating. And then the busy-ness shall begin... @_@.... Now... I wonder who's gonna support me on this... >_>;
- Current Mood: excited
- Current Music:98 Degrees - I Do (Cherish You)
Trinity Blood yaoi/shounen ai fanfiction - Mechanics of Love (Tres x Abel) [Includes graphics!]
Note1: This fanfic was written right after watching merely two episodes of the anime. I do not follow the manga, and readers of this fanfic are not required to be very familiar with Trinity Blood. As long as you've seen TWO episodes of the anime, you are ready to read this.
**Note2:** This fanfic was written spontaneously on MSN chat to a friend who patiently listened to me as I went on and on, so you'll find the writing involves a LOT of short-form/internet shortcut spellings/etc, along with messy capitalization and punctuations. If you find that annoying/unbearable, you'd either have to close an eye or just skip this fanfic. Sorry about that.
Anyway, we'll see just how many readers I can get from pimping this fanfic here. My guess? None. *siggghhh...*
- Current Mood: hopeful
- Current Music:Trinity Blood OP - Broken Wings